An abusive relationship is any behavior or pattern of behavior used to dominate or isolate the other partner. This violence can happen to anyone - married or dating. It doesn’t matter your age, gender, how long you’ve been with the person, or how serious the relationship is. You may be confused become it feels like loving a relationship but only when you behave in a certain way. Not all abusive relationships are physically violent. Emotional abuse within relationships is even more common than physical abuse. This abusive relationship may lead to flashbacks, social withdrawal, difficulty concentrating, suicidal thoughts, and insomnia. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if you’re in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. But if you think you’ve been treated badly, you probably are. Trust your gut. Healthy relationships make you feel good about yourself, not bad.
Signs of an Abusive Relationship:
There are some signs of an abusive relationship.
You’ve lost confidence in your perspective
You get shut down when you try to communicate
You feel afraid of your partner
You’re always apologizing
You don’t feel free to make your own choices
Check your phone, email, or social media messages without your ok
Tells you whom you can or can’t be friends with
Hurts you physically and mentally
You feel helpless and hopeless
Types of Abuse in a Relationship:
If abuse happens once, it can happen again. It can progress into a cycle of abuse that may involve different phases.
Physical abuse can include slapping, punching, kicking, throwing objects, the denial of food, and the destruction of property.
It can be any form of rape, sexual threats, and insults, pressuring or forcing you to have sex or do sexual things that you don’t want to do.
Verbal abuse includes verbal attacks, threats, insults, and yelling. It might relate to body shape, sexuality, intelligence, or ability as a parent.
Emotional abuse includes emotional blackmail or suicide threats, blaming or ignoring, treating the person as inferior, and spying on or following the calls.
Isolation and jealousy:
Trying to control where you go and whom you hang out with, getting extremely jealous.
Pressuring you to use drugs, alcohol, or do other things you don’t want to do.
These behaviors are ways for your partner to control you or have all the power in your relationship.
Causes of Abusive Relationships:
There are some causes of abuse:
Abusers learned to abuse from their parents
It can also result from mental health issues or disorders
The feeling of superiority in a relationship
Lack of repercussions and abuse
The need for the dominant partner to control the other
Education, poverty and unemployment, and using alcohol and drugs are also the causes of the abuse.
How Do I leave an Abusive Relationship:
If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to get out of it. Breaking up with someone abusive can be hard, especially if you love them. It is normal and okay to miss them. You need to do what’s best for you. Your safety is the most important thing. Remember that abuse is not your fault. It’s not right for anyone to hurt you. Don’t be afraid to ask your parents and friends for help. Parents, teachers, and other adults you trust can be good at dealing with problems like this. Getting out of an abusive relationship can take time and can be hard. If breaking up in person sounds scary or unsafe, it might be better to call or text.
Taking care of yourself:
Once an abusive relationship is over, it’s important to take steps to reset the damage it has done to one’s self-worth, self-confidence, and ability to trust others. The next step is to start changing the mental patterns. It is common to feel depression, feelings of helplessness and rage, hopelessness, self-blame, and fear. Sometimes you may feel missing your ex, feel lonely, anxious, or depressed, debating going back to the relationship. But sometimes you may have positive feelings too, you might feel strong, happy, and confident in your decision. Always love yourself and honor your thoughts and feelings as they come up. Support from friends, family members, and often therapists can help you in your recovery from the darkness. Recovery is a process, however, and the length of time varies for different people. No matter where you are in your journey, remember that everyone – including you – deserves a healthy relationship where they feel loved, respected, and valued.